An Engagement and a Prophecy

I know this might seem like a crazy thing to say 2 hours before kickoff, but Wilson Palacios will score this afternoon against Aston Villa. I had this epiphany three days ago but I didn't know whether to release it to the world or not. After getting a call late last night from my cousin Will announcing his engagement, I now know my hunch is a certainty. Palacios will know about this engagement because he is one of my biggest readers and also knows he will be letting me down if he doesn't deliver. Palacios always delivers...

I am actively trying to bring cousin Will on board to make some guest posts. This is my first mention of him on the blog, so I will give a quick introduction. He was a former starlet of the Richmond Strikers, who opted to play other sports instead of focusing on soccer around age 13. He is famous within the family for producing a moment of magic during Christmas 2008 with the "Knuckler Heard Around the World." It is common for our family to break out a volleyball before Christmas dinner and fire set pieces at each other. I don't remember the exact buildup because I was the victimized goalie but I do know the ferociousness of the drive. It was pretty much a carbon copy of Benoit Assou Ekotto's strike against Liverpool earlier this season. The strike was a glimpse of the type of player he could've been had he stayed focused on the beautiful game. Will currently resides in DC supporting Fulham in the Premiership, Reading in the Championship, Charlton in League One, Macclesfield in League Two, and VT-22 in La Liga Kingsville. I am now expecting a guest post within the next two days Will...

Why I am Depressed

A Guest post by my own brother and fellow Hotspur fan, Royal P. Gordon IV:

The woes of being a Tottenham supporter are well documented but I feel compelled to explain why life seems a little bleaker after today. Birmingham are dirt. Nuff said. Birmingham is the Hillary Clinton of the Premier League...uglier than sin and for some reason people still seem to like them. Now lets discuss ole' Arry. I liked the starting 11. Very fluid with many attacking options. The game was going very well and I liked our style of play. It all went to hell when Harry subs out Defoe and throws out Robbie "Geritol" Keane. He has no legs anymore, he can't play in the midfield much less up top, and just bitches at the referee. He would be a good fit at Burnley right now. Jermaine was feeling it...don't ever sub Jermaine when he is feeling it! Why would you also sub Bentley when he is playing the game of his life? He hasn't played like that since he arrived and I think he has a decent chance of giving Aaron Lennon a run for his money! Harry, please don't ever use Jenas as a sub ever again! He is not a game changer.

Now let's discuss old Eidur Gudjohnsen. He is one lazy mother and we already have too many strikers. I have no idea what we are thinking. Gylfi...you know I speak the truth. Here is another piece of madness: Younes Kaboul!!! Sure he is doing OK at Portsmouth but that is because he is king of the retards there. We have more kick ass defenders right now than we know what to do with (even though they love to give up goals in f'ing stoppage time!). Younes can't attack either.

Hmmm, Tottenham has me down and it is snowing like a Head and Shoulders commercial outside. I am going to get drunk. I had a couple of glasses of wine with lunch and it felt European and quite relaxing. My wife gave me a weird look but she is cool with it...I think. If it ain't broke, don't fix it I say so I will try to ride the buzz out till the snow stops. This is what Spurs does to me. I like to treat depression the old fashioned way...no Zoloft or Cymbalta for me, just a couple of fingers of bourbon sprinkled over 3 or 4 rocks (doctor's orders). One more talking point...I think bourbon gives me IBS (irritable bowel syndrome). I really love bourbon but am I willing to struggle on the john for it. I'm out. Come on you Spurs!!!